Tips on Raising a New Generation (without the drama)
By: Dr. David Martin & Katie Romano, Certified Hypnotist, Life Coach, LPN
Children should be trained in the direction of virtuous conduct but cannot engage in such conduct until their intellects develop in such manner that they can determine which means to employ in the pursuit of moral and social ends. This is why children need teachers who conduct themselves according to high moral principles. Training children's desires is not just for the sake of their desires; the training is ultimately for the sake of their developing intellects. As a corollary, one may say that training their bodies is not just for the sake of their bodies, but ultimately for the sake of the souls that are being shaped. (Adapted from Aristotle's teachings)
Aristotle expertly addressed the needs of children--body, mind and spirit-- while also stressing the importance of role modeling. In later years experts like Piaget and Maslow would delve deeper into these mysteries that govern the development of children and even adults. However, no one has developed a manual-a trail guide-so that parents, grandparents and teachers can safely navigate the rocky path of raising children in an ever-changing world where they often have ever-changing households.
Raising Minds.
What do you do to grow your mind? Milton Erickson, a famous Psychiatrist, utilized metaphor heavily in his practice. When we as adults do something positive and share our positive experience, we are providing a metaphoric example of the possibilities to our children. As tempting as it may be to tie your experience to where it's relevant in their lives, let their mind fill in the blanks as to how this may be applicable to them. For a more direct learning/teaching experience, try taking a child to a class designed for parents and children. Position the experience as "together time," leaving no mention of the event serving as a replacement for video games, etc. This sets the experience up quite differently than if it's linked to punishment or pain.
Raising Spirits.
As a nurse, coach, and minister, I've been with people when the first spark of life joins this world and as the life spark transitions, as well as all of the stages in between. One observation I have made over time is that regardless of the spiritual path one chooses to embrace, those walking one are better able to find a foothold when the ground beneath their feet cracks open. Helping a child to experience spiritual growth can start as simply as encouraging quiet time (just minutes a day without distractions), and can evolve into any number of things from journaling, meditation, volunteerism, spiritual study, or organized religion etc.
Raising Bodies.
Did you know that the simple act of wiggling your fingers-this one small physical act-can jumpstart serotonin production to elevate your mood and help you cope better with life's stressors? Imagine, then, the power that total body involvement in daily activity can have in your life, or the life of a child you love? What would life be like if we all took an after dinner walk , played a basketball game, or swam in the pool, instead of an after dinner email check, news program, or video game session?
Did you know that the benefits of activity are cumulative? I'll never forget my anatomy and physiology teacher making a student stand with their arms out, stack of books on each arm as she lectured. Minutes later, after the students arms fell , she shared with the class that the student's body was already repairing muscle, and preparing the body to perform that same task tomorrow for a longer duration so that someday, the task could be performed with less effort. This means that the short spurts of family activity may be tough at first, but will become easier for everyone and that the physical and psychological benefits often outweigh initial discomforts.
Raising Conflict.
Conflict is a part of life, it's a change agent. It tests our core values, challenges us to expand. Sometimes, it's tough to see the blessing in this bane, particularly when children may return from one parent's house after a breakfast of Kool Aid and cinnamon buns, to another parent's home with raw organic trail mix and hummus with raw veggies. Or, when a child moves from being immersed in a media frenzy of TV and Video games to being encouraged to share in moments of quiet or an evening reading round robin. This type of duality creates conflict in adults and children alike. Ideally, resolving the conflict by shutting off the TV or creating consistent rules in other ways is best . Since this is not always possible, we recommend finding the blessing. Or, what Aristotle defined as the "mean", the point of balance between extremes. The trick is in discovering the mean in a safe, loving environment free of judgment, where diversity in styles is appreciated, boundaries are clear, and parental role modeling is congruent with messages.
For more tips on Raising Up your life or the life of your loved ones to a new level, check out our free classes listed below, or call for an appointment with one of our Holistic Providers: 239-277-1399.
